Committing to the Idea of Family : No Wedding No Womb

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

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When I first heard about No Wedding No Womb, I was shocked. Yes I've heard the dismal data on broken black families and out of wedlock children. What I have yet to hear is a real solution to the problem or better yet a call to action from WITHIN the black community.

No Wedding No Womb

It's long irritated me that the view of what a black family should be is fragmented. Our young men think it's ok to have children with different women who they don’t’ support emotional or financially. Our young women think it ok to be a baby mama and a single mother doing it on her own. Our young children think it's ok to see dad sometimes or not at all. Is this the normal for black families? What standard have we set for ourselves and our children? What image do we have of the "black" family?
According to the National Center for Health Statistics, a shocking 72 percent of black children have unwedded parents, and the oft perceived extraneousness of marriage permeates all socioeconomic strata. The out-of-wedlock rate is the highest of any other race and ethnic group in the U.S., and in many cases, has disastrous results that take a toll on all Americans--from tax dollars, crime and unspent intellectual capital.

Black Family

This is the issue that I hope the NWNW movement will spread awareness about. We as men and women, mothers and fathers have to rethink and to take back our idea of what makes a family. As a community we have to buildup our image of the "black" family. We need to start making a commitment outside the bedroom first.

Some people might question my interest in being part of this. After all I am known for dating outside of my race and promoting the idea that mixed race families are also an option for a black women. But it doesn't matter who I date or what racial heritage my own child shares with a non-black man.

I am a black woman. My mother, father, brothers and sisters are black. Those are my credentials and motivations for supporting a movement wanting to make a positive change with the black community, their community, my community.

And what is happening in my community? In my community unwed black male and female talk about having to go to court to decide who has what parenting right. Why do we need a court to settle parenting issues?  The conversation about parenting should have happened along side the conversation about making a commitment to each other.

As a community we need more commitment conversations along with the "lets have a baby" convo. Whether you make a formal commitment with the white dress or you make a promise to always love and respect each, let that be the foundation of what your family is built on. If one man and women change how they think about starting a family, then it's the start to changing the world.

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Joining the No Wedding, No Womb Campaign

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

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Even though I'm currently a single mom, I've married 2x and would a 3rd if the right person can along. I'm still a firm believer in marriage and the concept of a committed relationship. As a "black" mother and women it's painful to see so many broken households within our community. It's way past time we started taking our roles as parents and partners back. Join me as I lend my support to the No Wedding, No Womb Campaign started by the ladies behind Beyond Black & White

No Wedding No Womb

What is No Wedding No Womb? It's a declaration and acknowledgment that the out-of-wedlock situation in the black community has reached a critical mass. It is a call for both men and women to take into account the trauma that motherless or fatherless children experience when procreating is taken so cavalierly.

The ideal for kids is to have a functional household where both parents are committed to providing financial and emotional support to their kids.

No Wedding No Womb also fights against the normalization of baby momma and daddy-ism. Clearly as a whole, this mentality is NOT working for us as a community.

On September 22, over two dozen bloggers, writers, teachers, social workers, authors and celebrities (and counting) will decry in tandem–no unison–that enough is enough. Our future depends on adults planning families responsibly.

Lets take a stand together to save our communities, save our partners, save our children and ultimately save our selves.

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