Race Focused Bullying. Where's the support?

A few months ago I took part in a roundtable discussion for CBS News/48 HOURS presentation “Bullying: Words Can Kill.”

Photo: Heather Wines/CBS ©2011 CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved

Of course as a parent the topic of bullying is important to me. But as a parent of a biracial child, I'm especially interested in bullying and how it happens with the mixed race community. To many times I've seen bullying tolerated and then the damaging effects it leaves on children's and adults who are already facing discrimination outside their "community".

I recently saw this tragic story of a bullied 10-year-old girl who commits suicide. A discussion on the article wondered if part of the teasing was racial based. The child was biracial.

Certainly race does play a part as shown in an article that highlight Asian Americans are the most bullied in US schools

For some that might sound outlandish. How can someone be bullied based on race?

For those in the mixed race community, this isn't even a question. Race focused bullying happens all the time. Bullying can happen as early as toddler hood. I'll never forget when children in the playground started telling my son 2 year old son to go back to china because he looked different then they do.  But where do children learn how to bully from?

I strongly suspect from the adults in their lives. I recently watched one video where a mom of an infant went on a racial rant in public.  If this mom says those kids of things  in public imagine what she says on the privacy of her home to this very impressionable child? Can you guess what mindset this child will grow up with?

Another sad truth is adults are not immune to be being bullied. I experienced a bullying moment tonight in a mixed race online group, when I tried to expand a discussion. The issue was about the race boxes some college students are checking...or in this case not checking. Based on me asking a question that moved the discussion beyond asian and white I was asked....

Because clearly, since I wont talk about JUST white and asian issues I must hate white people. Ugh This is not the first time someone has accused me of hating white people. It seems to be the default argument whenever I challenge a conversation that excludes anyone who isn't half white. I've already addressed this accusation in more then one blog post but seems I need to kill off that argument in a more dramatic way. I'll definitely deal with that question in a future blog post.

For this blog post I want to bring the focus to what happened after those words were thrown at me.

Despite me ignoring them, the person in this group continued to post and accuse me. Each post becoming more inflammatory.

Now you'd think in a group of over 1,000 adult people someone who step in and say something right? Nope. Not one person spoke up and said anything in my defense, to change the topic or just to stop the tirade that was happening.

And in my mind, that's how bullying holds it's power. People see things happening but no one says anything.  Where's the support for a person being bullied so they dont have to deal with it alone?

Granted I'm an adult and can stand up for myself but still I told the group owner. LOL. She handled situation but the whole thing has already left a bad taste in my mouth. Are these the adults leading the way for the next generation of mixed race children? Are these same adults the ones who's suppose to provide support and a safe haven for children dealing with mixed race conflict?

Thankfully, this is not the only group within the mixed race community. Many other groups do provide a true safe haven and will stand up for those being bullied racially.

During that CBS News/48 HOURS roundtable discussion one thing I spoke strongly for was building a support system. Both children and adults need to surround themselves with those who will take a stand with them against bullies. If your being bullied it's important for you to know YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Find a community to be a part of or if you can't find, then build your own.

Bullying is not just a part of life. Bullying is not something that will make us stronger. Bullying is killing our friends, family and our children because they feel there's no support. It's time to take a stand and speak up, time to share stories, time to save our community and our children from dying both figuratively and literally.

Here is a list of Resources for students & parents - http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/09/08/48hours/main20100086.shtml