Grandma What ya doin with a white baby?

As usual I was ranting on twitter about my latest "is that your child" encounter, when I received a tweet from Isidra, whose radio show I was on a few weeks ago (upcoming post).

Isidra's tweet made a great point and brought to light something I don't see or hear much about. The experiences of Grandparents who according to Isidra get asked, "Whatchoo doin' with that white baby?". I wanted to hear/learn/share more about these other experiences where a family connected is questioned, so I asked Isidra to share her thoughts in a guest post.

"Whatchoo doin' with that white baby?" by Isidra Person-Lynn

All too often that was the question I would get in my neighborhood as some curious workman, passerby or long-time no-see person peeked into my infant grandson's face. Yes, he was pale, with light grey eyes and bone straight hair. But I saw a black child. Why couldn't they?

His mother is black, as is his father (our son.) Well, that's if you go by the one drop rule. My daughter in law is mixed, but she is obviously black, as were her sisters and much of her extended family.

When I took him to my client's Asian Health Picnic, the questions abounded: "Oh, his mother is white?" my coworkers would say knowingly as they cooed at the baby. "No," I sniffed. Not you, too! By then my offense was muted.

I got a call one day from a video maker friend in a pinch. "We need to have a child who is white for this multicultural commercial I'm shooting." She must have been wringing her hands. She laughed nervously. "I know I shouldn't ask this, but can we borrow your grandson?" "Absolutely not!"I replied, a little too forcefully. "What difference would it make? Why not arrange to have the child brought to the studio? " she asked, incredulously. "Because he's NOT white," I retorted. "And I like it that way just fine."

Thankfully, as our grandson grew, he tanned up nicely and his hair grew in, thick and strong and black --kinky curly. No one assumes he is white any more.

Folks, the family photo album is changing. I have cousins in-law who are white and a nephew who is half Filipino. Heck, I'm a pecan tan and when I did the DNA test African Americans love to do to learn from whence they came, mine came back European. (It happens like 1% of the time). Our family was always exposed to other races and cultures. My stepfather is Hawaiian, while my Mom's close friend was Japanese and my sister dated a Puerto Rican. My cousin's husband is white, but then folks assume she too is white, so she blends right in. But they all get the question from time to time.

Don't get me wrong…I,too, am curious about every family that I see, especially those that set off the Sesame Street song in my head "One of these things is not like the other…" but I have sense enough to know not to go up to anyone and blurt my question at them. That's akin to asking "what's your kid doing in that wheelchair?" Or "Is that a toupee?"

It's bad manners to come right out and ask, no matter what your race or station in life. Hold your tongue!

Isidra Person-Lynn, M.A. Journalism from USC, hosts a weekly magazine formatted Blog Talk Radio show Called "Sunday Morning Live" at 10 a.m. PST. www.blogtalkradio.com/sundaymorning-Live. Join her!